I am UPPPPPPP! Yes, wheeee. Zim zam zingety bing bong bang!!! Welcome to hypo manic me. I am a night owl, except not really an owl as they seem far too low key and wise, and I can assure you, these are 2 things that do not describe me at this moment. Currently I’m more like a coked-up night squirrel, and ready to clean the house from top to bottom ( I will not do this, however, as my family would be verrrry displeased if I woke them as I excitedly vacuumed their living room and crashingly unloaded their dishwasher, and maybe changed some light bulbs recklessly…you know, typical early morning fun time activities)
Yes, this is precisely what it is like for a person who is knee deep in their own bipolocity(bipolar+velocity). I have yet to learn how to manage my downswings, which are the long-lasting donkey phases (specifically as I would call them, “A bad case of the Eeyores”aka depression for those of you who are failing to put 2 and 2 together).
The upswingy dingys are more like what some call monkey mind, which is accurate for the most part. But something about monkeys isn’t quite right to describe my brain’s experience: they are either too shrill and hostile and poo flingy, or too cute and precocious. So though I’d like to stick with the animal analogies, I think Mexican Jumping Bean Mind makes more sense. And/or espresso mind. Hard core, thick and repeated shots of caffeine can propel me into that ever-so hilarious and deluded land that I call, “The La la Leanna’s.” It is here in this psychedelic location between my ears that I can conquer not only dust bunnies, dastardly lightbulbs, and unruly silverware; I could also run several kilometres, practice my Zumba choreography, and feel energetic enough to write a dreadful mini novella in just over 3 hours.
Yes, that is me now. I know I should crawl under my quilt, use my hypnotherapy mp3’s and put my body parts to sleep one part at a time, “Oh big toe! You feel ever so very heavy now. You are sleepy, very sleepy knee-cap. Aaaaah, I am soothed by ocean waves rolling over me.” And so on and so on. I could meditate…’Empty thy mind, focus on the tip of your nose. Ommmm.”
But in the fine peak hours I say, “Pooh pooh to that! I shall stay here, eyes on screen, letters moving badly across it, as incessant typos riddle and litter and must be repeatedly corrected.
This is the flippity leap in the air without a care called the hypo’s.
Many of you have met the lumbering beast on the other side of the bipolar bear. The slumpy, lumpy, grumpy Debbie Downer.
But, what would I be without these 2 wonderful creature minds? I know it seems upside down to appreciate the eeyore/debbie downer side of myself but I need to understand and love her too. I need to love them both really and truly, so these 2 sides can become chums and work together for the common goodness that they both manifest.