I thought I would just drop a line, a beat, a bombshell…something that has got all of the bees up in my bonnet.
But First, A Question: Who’s got 2 thumbs and can’t get a job in Vancouver despite being awesome but not clearly being able to reflect that in a resume or believe it herself a lot of the time and is sitting in her backyard procrastinating again?
Line, Beat, Bombshell…DROP: This writer hates resume creation, with a passion. This goofball finds the most peculiar tasks and circumstances anxiety-inducing to the point of paralysis and foggy mindedness…and it turns her into an intense, stress-hyped zombie face!!
I see the hilarity of feeling totally inept at writing something well when I’m a writer (p.s. don’t bother pointing that out to me. It goes hand in hand with so many other marvelous contradictions that I’m aware of but don’t alter, expunge, etc…)
But, when it comes to this particular “genre”..and it is that, a whole other entity from the ones I enjoy handling, or feel capable of nurturing…. I am twitch-jumpy. It takes me soooo long, and I’m still obviously not getting it right, or I would probably be getting callbacks.
It feels like I’m showing up at a commercial audition for a Budweiser beer babe dressed in an adult colonial doll costume. I clearly don’t have what they’re looking for.
Somewhere out there, someone must need someone like me and be willing to exchange their dollars for my prowess-es-es…someone decent, someone looking for diligence behind the scenes. Or in front of the scenes if the situation were right (I’m certainly not above hamming it up or making a body part hat of myself in the name of learning, fun, a cause….just not for the usual shill…selling products, people, services I don’t believe in to people that, on average, are difficult/unrealistic/demeaning/and etc… to deal with.
Tall order, I know. But, I’ve had good bosses and clients. And I’ve had a couple of jobs that I was happy/content at a lot of the time. That was many years ago, but is it not still possible?
I know what I like. And what my strengths and weaknesses are. I know that my weaknesses right now are really inhibiting my strengths.
And this is why writing resumes is a torture test…because I have to brand, package, and sell myself in a way that feels entirely unnatural and uncomfortable because what’s in here and out there really don’t seem to align.
Yet, I have to figure this out. How to live in or out of the box. Or maybe live with it. Over under beside through in with. The box.
Cut paste copy bold OBJECTIVE! Rinse and REPEAT!