Blogger Unplugged: Falling Down in Spirals

I am not quite sure how to explain why I have triple the number of drafts (at least) as I do posts. I have a multitude of suggestions for myself on this one.

I haven’t written a proper entry since the beginning of September. In this time, I have shifted backward and fallen downward.

I have never stopped writing, whether it be on paper, a computer, in my brain, on a voice recorder and I likely never will, but I haven’t been able to bring closure to any of the entries.

The process of blogging is different; it is a medium I’m still not quite used to and it has felt uncomfortable for the past month and a half. The blog, like my mind, has started and stopped and raced non-sensically around the room. I haven’t had peace in my thought process; not enough to be objective or directed.

I think my purpose in blogging has been too ill-defined and I need to decide if I’m going to try to get more than 2 people to read this, somehow. This is my constant struggle when it comes to my own voice; do I share it or not? If so, how much is too much? I have a wildly diverse over-share to hide-and-go-seek approach to life that is admittedly confusing and frustrating for me and others.

If I am going to write this blog, then shouldn’t I be trying to generate more traffic, because otherwise, why have it on here at all? I could be writing all of this in a journal or a Microsoft document or in an e-mail to myself.

I started this, in truth, with the intention of being very honest, painfully honest, really tossing about the muck, come what may, but I haven’t done so. And this frustrates me immensely, because if this is to go any further, I want who I am to be clear; what I have experienced, where I’ve come from, to be as true as I can manage. And ultimately, I want to be helpful. I had an audience in mind, a particular type of audience, that isn’t seeing this at all.

Ultimately, I know that I need to get a grip on what I’m doing and why. I am very grateful to my one consistent reader (you know who you are, or should…yes, Kaan, that would be you). I do appreciate the time you’ve taken. I want to make this a place worth coming to and perusing again.

About nala7299

Greetings Feline and Fellow Earthlings! In the interest in "brevity" I will attempt to summarize via lists. I AM, this is me, here we go, weee: writer, reader, lover of music, dance, theatre, animals, oddities, 2nd hand trolling through alleys and le boutigues of sally ann and value village, and the beautiful outdoorsy nature of my home. Big breath, leap #2: a veggie head, enviro eco freak, chocolateasaurus, transformer more than meets the eye, former ESL teacher, a happy auntie of Nicholas and Sam, my 2 sweetie pie nephews. Leap #3...welcome to me! Enough said, read my blog:)
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